A Message From Future You

I remember when I first became widowed, one of the things that I thought about most was would I feel like this forever?

His death was sudden, and not expected, so in amongst the shock and denial, I was hyper aware of the deep pain and heartbreak I felt, and a million other things in there too.

I was terrified this would last forever, and I took great comfort in the words of others, particularly when I was a member of WAY - Widowed And Young, and to be honest, this was my saving grace.

Hearing from others who had experienced a devastating loss too, but were further down the line than me, it gave me hope that one day I would stop crying, that one day I might be able to leave the house, that one day I might stop counting the days, hours and minutes since he died, that one day, I'd be able to smile and feel such joy that he existed as well as feel the pain of his absence.

Feeling the support of others who "get it" truly cannot be underestimated.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I can't promise it will all be okay, but for me, if I could turn back the clock, I'd definitely let "grieving me" know that I would find a way to live alongside the grief in a way that remembers him, and honours his life, because, dammit, that boy lived the best life he could because he knew one day he'd be gone.

I hope this makes sense to you, this definitely feels like a crazy TRW tangled rambling.

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