Be The Things

Every single day I spent with my amazing man, the one thing that amazed me most was his zest for life, and for making every day count, and really matter.

He told me that as soon as he received his diagnosis, from that point onward, he'd made a decision to live life to the fullest. He went on holiday the day after he finished chemo, because he could. Simple as.

This carried on when we got together, and his love of life was so infectious.

We'd make memories out of the most ridiculous things.

A midnight feast under a pillow fort, lit by torches. Dancing in the rain. A walk on the beach late at night to look at the stars. Everything and anything was magical to him. It was another day of living, and he was grateful.

I loved his gratitude. He thanked all the medical staff that helped him pull through yet another scare in such a heartfelt way, you could not help but love him.

I try to be grateful because it's what I loved most about him. I say try, because I'm not a believer in always forcing yourself to see the sunny side of life, because grief hurts, and I allow myself those days to hurt, and cry and feel robbed of the future I had always hoped for with my soul mate.

I am grateful for my friends and family, for the roof over my head, for my job that keeps the roof there, and the wonderful colleagues who inspire me daily with their dedication.

But most of all, I am grateful for him. I am glad I found him, he taught me so much during our lives together, and I'll never be able to thank him enough for the love he gave me.

I am grateful for him. I always will be. His incredible attitude inspires me daily to keep going, and to keep making memories. Life is for living. You only get one shot.

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