Grief Fog

Yup, a perfect capture of what grief is like.

I remember how I felt when it first happened, I felt like I was going round in circles, feeling lost, feeling like I had no control over anything, and my emotions were all over the place.

I hated life, hated living and just wanted it all to stop.

I felt so cross with myself. My husband didn't have a life to live anymore. He would give everything to be alive, and here was me, wishing my life away and wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning. It was breaking my heart to feel this way, but I felt so lost.

I was surrounded by fog, no clue what I was doing, where I was headed. Quite frankly, a mess. I sought counselling. I was clearly crackers and needed help.

All of these feelings are normal. The counsellor was amazing, she listened, and assured me my feelings were normal. This was the biggest relief ever. I felt awful for not wanting to live. I did want to live, I just didn't want to live alone, without my husband. There's a massive difference.

Everything we feel and experience is all OK, even if it doesn't feel so at the time. It's all normal, I promise. What has always helped me is to know that what I've felt was normal, and a typical grief reaction. Knowing you're not really going crazy is such a relief.

We just need to talk. To share. To let people in, and help.

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