Grief Timeline

Grief isn't linear. It doesn't have a defined finish point, and certainly doesn't have a tidy little timeline to tell you when you can expect your grief end date will be.

We're all different, and grief will take each and every one of us on a different grief rollercoaster of a journey.

I really felt like friends and family felt my grief should be over in a specified time. When my husband first died, they were mostly there, in my face, and I couldn't get the space I needed to grieve, then 3 months later the majority were nowhere to be seen.

Comments were passed about me moving on, finding someone new (this was a comment I had at his funeral too....!) I felt very pressured to put a happy smiley face on to stop the comments, because it was just easier.

It ended up in a breakdown. I had no idea of the damage that denying my grief could cause. I told myself frequently that I should be feeling better by now, that the crying should have stopped, that I should be able to look at our memories and feel some joy, I beat myself up for everything that I actually had very little control over in those early days.

Don't let anyone make you feel you should be "over it" or "moving on". Deal with your grief your way and at your own speed, and just take your journey a breath, minute, hour, day or week at a time.

Once you let go of these expectations that others hold over you, and also those you hold yourself accountable to, the pressure is off.

All in your own time, at your own pace.

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