Just Breathe


There were days that I really felt I was winning at life - I nailed work, had life in order, bills paid, feeling immense amounts of gratitude that he lived, and a sense of odd contentment in this life I never chose.


Then there were those kinds of days. The ones where I couldn't get out of bed, or shower, or dress, my mind was full of pain and sorrow and the tears just wouldn't stop flowing. the duvet was pulled right over my head, and I hid. The world was turning, but I didn't want to be on it. I needed time out from everything, and everyone, and myself.


It was so hard.


It was the latter I used to beat myself up over, it felt like I was going backwards. It was those days that made everyone do that irritating head tilt, whilst they announce "oh, you were doing so well, what happened?"


Grief. That's what happened.


But you know what? It's ok to have those days. It's ok if all you managed was to breathe. That's enough, it is really.


Just be kind to yourself and allows these days to be part of your process, they're not you going backwards, they are you, taking a pause away from the world that keeps spinning and throwing you off track.


It's just a pause, while you breathe, and get ready to step back into the world. When you are ready.


Just stop. Breathe.

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