This is so true, and really struck a chord with me.
The path we walk can feel so lonely, feeling like we're constantly alone, without the only person we want to be at our side, walking with us.
It took me so long to work out how to live without him. He was my world, my everything. We did everything together.
Things started to get easier when I could recall the happy memories and fun times we had. Maybe easier is the wrong word. Things became different. Being able to find joy in the memories again meant so much to me.
It took a while, though. At first, the memories were too painful and upsetting, they just made me miss him more. Just looking at a photo of him reduced me to a sobbing mess. I missed his smile, his cheeky laugh, the way he threw back his head as he just laughed, I missed his smell, his touch, his kisses, just every damn thing about him, and the photos just brought those memories flooding back like a tidal wave, knocking me totally off my feet.
Now, those memories bring a smile to my face. I feel lucky I had a love like his.
That love is what is carrying me through, I just didn't realise it. I thought I had to learn to live without him. Now, I live with the love and memories he left behind, and I feel lucky. We didn't have a huge amount of time together, but damn it, we crammed so much in our lives together.
I remember feeling so broken when he first died. I wanted our memories to bring comfort, I really did. I wanted them to make me feel better. They just brought horrendous pain. I couldn't manage thinking about the life I'd lost, it just broke me.
But over time, slowly, I began to look back at our memories and they hurt less, and they slowly started to bring comfort.
If you're still feeling sad when you look back, I hope you will soon begin to find comfort in them instead.
Their love blessed us all, then, now and always. The love they left behind will always be with us. Always.