After he died, everything that we had shared made me cry and break a little more. Places we'd loved together, photos, memories of happy times, they all broke me. All I could see, hear or feel was painful, it reminded me only of what I lost.
Then there was that point. It all changed, and I don't remember when, or how, or why, but those precious memories, and places, and songs, and photos, they made me smile.
They reminded me how blessed I was to have ever met him, and those memories I once feared now made me smile, and filled me with overwhelming love.
There are times those memories hurt, but I mostly feel gratitude for all the memories he left behind.
I hope that you reach that point too, if you haven't already. I know it can feel so daunting, and you might wonder if you will ever get there, but I truly hope that you do, because it's life changing. It allows you to find the joy and happiness that you once had with that person you miss the most. Let's face it, we need every piece of happiness we can find, don't we?
Helping Others Understand
Happy memories can be so painful after a death. They are just a reminder of what has been lost, and that list is never ending. Grief can cause a loss of identity, of confidence, of self esteem, of purpose; it tears all your hopes and dreams up and throws them all away. It can cause very distressing financial issues, they may have to sell their house and move to something smaller, the list really is endless.
It turns life upside down. Is it any wonder that recalling these once happy memories hurt?
Just be there, and when they're ready to find joy, help them to recall the beauty that relationship held, and still holds to them today.
Just be there, be present, be kind and listen.