Sharing Grief

A few months after my husband died, I was offered the opportunity to go to a grief support group. I have to be honest and say I wasn’t really for it. I didn’t care about anyone else, or their loss, I was so consumed by my own pain and grief, that I just didn’t have the space for anyone else and the pain they carried.

As harsh as it sounds, I really didn’t.

I know this sounds really weird, but they didn’t know him, all they would ever know about him was what I shared with them, and there just simply was not enough words to do him justice, so it didn’t feel like something I could engage in. How could they understand the depths of my pain? Grief just filled every single part of my life, both when awake and asleep.

I was struggling to share with friends, and whilst I was having counselling, I am very aware that it still meant the real world where my family and friends resided, they had no real clue what was going on in my mind.

That’s when I accidentally founded The Reluctant Widow. It started as what I thought was a private blog, but was actually public, and people started to comment on my posts, and in all honesty, it really scared me. I felt very vulnerable, so I deleted all the posts, and left it for a while.

When I started to think about my posts, I remembered how everyone had commented that they felt understood, as if they’d written the words themselves, that they understood the emotions and pain I’d expressed, and just the gratitude they’d shared, just through me sharing my ramblings.

It made me wonder if I could continue to write, anonymously, and be able to offer support to others. Being able to see you’re not alone is just so powerful, and it’s something I experienced when I was a member of WAY. It feels like such a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and that feels wonderful.

So, I never attended a support group, but I did find the best online support group ever when I founded the facebook group. I was able to write my innermost thoughts and share my pain, and others could read and feel comforted that they were not alone. A win-win I’d say.

So almost three years of writing later, I am still here, writing and sharing. It is my hope that this website provides lots more support to all the others out there who are finding grief hard to bear alone.

There is comfort in numbers, and safety too. We all need both of those things, don’t we?

If you want to join us, find my page on Facebook -

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