The saddest moment in my life was the moment that the person who gave me the best memories became a memory too :(
I never imagined it would be so soon that he'd be a memory, rather than a part of them, with me.
I remember looking at the photos, and they were pure torture. I could see your face, your smile, I was never going to see that again. I'd never experience your infectious laughter, or hear you chuckling at something funny on the TV. I'd never feel that flutter in my tummy that you gave me when your eyes met mine with intent. We understood each other without having to say a single word.
We were one. Joined in every single sense. We were.
Those memories were deeply upsetting at first, they reminded me of what I'd lost, what I was missing, they just hurt to think of, and photos, videos, voice messages - they all broke my heart.
It's taken a long time but those memories now make me feel so grateful of the love I had, and the photos make me smile as I remember him, and us. I am so glad I was always taking photos of us, and of him, I don't really have any photos of me growing up, and as an adult, I've always taken a ridiculous amount of photos, to compensate, I guess. To prove in the future, that I did I exist. The photos of him and I proved that we existed, and I can't tell you how glad I am that he was in my life.
I was so blessed to have someone who loved me in the way he did. I found my love, my soul mate, my partner in crime, and my best friend.
It may take time for you to find the love in the memories you hold, but keep trying, I can't tell you what a comfort it is to find the joy in them, when you're ready to do so.
My husband will forever live on in our memories, and in my heart. He can never be taken from them, and I find comfort in this daily.